The shadow wished if he could have a better life in the town. The tower stands tall and looks gloomy. The tower is strange and it looks like pale black mountains. The Shadow steps out into the night and calmly flies through the dark alleyways.
After walking a long time, the Shadow sees a bright shimmering light coming from a window. His eyes get light and start to glow. The Shadow’s neck gets longer as the night sky gets blue. He walks in to a bright light of the library. As the Shadow wanders through towers of books, his eyes turn black with surprise.
The shadow saw a candle. She turned around in shyness and it looked like golden diamonds as she fluttered her eyelashes. He put out his hand and it got burnt.
Suddenly the man blew the candle out and the Shadow fell to the ground and he hugged her. While he was sad and lonely, her smoke came out the back and made a girl shadow.
By Chloe 7 years old
Chloe, you have done a great job of describing both the Shadow and the light in the library window. I can almost see them in my mind. I love the way you have used a simile to describe the candle: She turned around in shyness and it looked like golden diamonds as she fluttered her eyelashes.
ReplyDeleteYour next challenge is to look at keeping the story in the same tense. That means to keep it like it happened yesterday: walked, say, climbed, turned... You change from the present tense (happening now) to the past tense (happened yesterday).